The Polite Poacher

Can there be such a thing?

In today’s Bite Size Pickleball newsletter:

1. The Polite Poacher

2. The Joola Mess

3. Register to Vote with the Proper Swag

THE POLITE POACHER

Hi, my name is Rick, and I am a serial poacher. However, I’m not always a serial poacher! And, no, I don’t think one can really be a “polite” poacher. To poach, or not to poach, that is the question.

On vacation this week I played with a, primarily, new group of players. A few who were super annoying, well, one older lady in particular, who decided to tell me how to play before we had even played a game together. It was in one of those round robin events where you play with a different partner every game—hate ‘em!

Anyway, at risk of having to hear more from this lady, and facing two dudes, who were obviously going to pummel her into oblivion, I remained polite. And by “polite,” I mean, when she didn’t do well, I encouraged her, and told her we’d get the next point. We didn’t get the next point, too often.

On one play, I finally decided to get proactive, because I was tired of seeing her get pummeled. I was on the left side of the court, and I cut off one of the dude’s strikes at her with a backhand put-away. She congratulated me! Told me what a great move it was. Only two points later she informed me not to get close to her precious forehand, i.e., stay the f*ck away. I recounted to her how much she liked my prior poach, and it flummoxed her, she wasn’t sure how to respond. At that point, I was cool with losing, and I crawled back into my polite, encouraging shell.

If you’ve never played with someone before and, after a couple of points, you pick up on the fact that you might have just got teamed with a talented player, by all means, encourage them to do their thing, and swallow your “that’s my forehand, stay the f-away” pride. You might just win a game. IF that’s what you want to do. If you want to divide the court up in equal increments and call your partner out when they step a toe over the line, you do you, but don’t give them a shaming look when you lose.

If you’re a serial poacher, like me, my advice is not to step on too many toes too soon. Get to know your new group. It is really tough to watch your partner get targeted, and not a lot of fun to be the observer when you know you have the ability to mix it up, and make the match competitive. But especially when you’re traveling, like I was, you’ll probably be more valued amongst the locals to be encouraging rather than to take too much of the court. It is rec play, after all. We don’t need to win EVERY game. That’s a hard challenge, isn’t it? Not to have the need to win every game.

Yesterday, still traveling, I was playing with another small group. Much cooler, in that no one was telling me how to play. I probably poached it a total of 4 times in two hours. When I did, one of the dudes I was facing, looked at me with a surprised look on his face, and exclaimed, “Nice poach!” I smiled and thought to myself, “You ain’t seen nothing yet, pal.” Then I got in my car and rode off into the sunset.

THE JOOLA MESS

I have never liked Joola paddles. I had been playing with an Engage for the four years I have been pickling. When I tried the Joola 1 & 2, I didn’t feel like they gave me half the power I got with my Engage. No longer. I got one of the Joola Ben Johns Perseus 3 WEAPONS and it is a cannon. I guestimate I can hit a good 12% harder, meaning I don’t have to swing as hard, and can save some energy. Not only that, but the touch is great, and my short game has definitely improved. Then, someone comes along and tells me it can’t be used. But wait! This is important. The paddles HAVE NOT been banned. Which means you can play all you want with them on a rec court, and even in pro events! You just can’t play with them in USA Pickleball sanctioned tournaments.

So please stop yelling at me on a rec court that I am using “an illegal paddle!” Go get one yourself and see how strong they are.

In terms of the controversy, it’s a classic case of “he said, she said,” both Joola and USA Pickleball blame one another. Hopefully they’ll sort their sh*t out soon so we can get back to the game. And, I wonder, in the long run, when it does get settled, might the brouhaha be a positive marketing tool for Joola? FYI: Currently it is a PR nightmare. It could turn positive when the case is settled because it is drawing so much attention to the brand. NOTE: I am not a Joola spokesperson, but if they want to employ me…

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