Are We Having Fun Yet?
Or does pickleball make you a little miserable?
In today’s Bite Size Pickleball newsletter:
Are We Having Fun Yet?
Benjamin Zander
New Book Giveaway
Peppermint Paddy was dead on the money when she predicted what a big thing pickleball was going to be. Of course, that is not a real comic, I made it myself. However, pickleball IS a real big dill now. And one of the reasons it is a big dill is because of how much fun it is. Until it isn’t.
And when it isn’t, usually that means we didn’t win a game, a tournament, a league, or we missed a shot, or we missed out on a line call. Oh, those tricky line calls when everyone thinks they can be the only one that sees them correctly :)
When we put so much of our focus on pickleball as a zero-sum game (someone’s gotta win, and someone’s gotta lose), it has a tendency to set us up for downfall and, often, it brings up painful emotions we have lodged deep inside us. Those emotions tend to make us feel “less than.” And sadly, being miserable comes along for the ride.
I am here to say, f*ck that! Stop feeling “less than” over the game of pickleball, and don’t let it affect your emotional state in a negative way. Here are a few ideas how to stay grounded in positive vibrations.
Always maintain a sense of gratitude of how lucky we all are to have found this amazing game. Many of us have discovered it later in life, and what a special outlet it is for exercise, competition, and more importantly, a sense of community. That sense of community is what drives me from deep in my core. Let it drive you and, speaking words of wisdom, let it be more important than the wins and LOSSES. Think: “My pickleball peeps!” Not: “I f*cking suck.”
Practice lifting others up, because when we give, and support people, it in turn helps lift us up along the way. In other words, don’t be a dick when you win and rub it in your opponent’s face. When I win, I like to come up to the paddle-tap and say something like, “That was so much fun, guys, thanks a bunch.” Keep that kind of sentiment when you win, show your opponents humility, gratitude, and a sense of how important the connection was. I was playing against a guy yesterday who beat my partner and I, and afterwards, he stood on the sideline and exclaimed something like, “That was fun. I love beating Rick’s ass.” In reality, it was a powder puff game to me, meaning, not really too competitive, and they isolated my partner and picked on him. I didn’t care enough about the win to expend the energy needed to cover the court AND I didn’t want to do that to my partner in a meaningless rec game. I was more focused on being a good partner, lifting him up, and helping him get better. I stayed positive with him every step of the way, and when I got home, I texted him that he played great, and offered up a suggestion on how he could play even better. Meanwhile, did the “dick” help me have fun? No, he kind of pissed me off, and he triggered me. My reply was something like, “I’m glad I made your penis grow so big.” Also, what he did was put a target on himself for the next time out, which happened to be today. Needless to say, it didn’t go too well for him. Honestly, he’s a good guy, and I get how special it is when we beat players better than us. But keep it humble, dude. For your own sake, don’t poke the bear, and support everyone in good spirit whether you win, or lose.
So, as well as being kind to your opponents, be kind to yourself! I know I harp on this a lot. But it’s not like I see the frustration on player’s faces going away anytime soon. Remember, it’s OK when you miss a shot, or you lose a game of pickleball. There will be other games that follow! Let your frustration fuel your growth, while embracing the challenges to stay positive on the court, rather than drag yourself down to the Land of Miserable.
When you are “playing,” and I emphasize the word playing, as in: you have a playful spirit, this is going to actually help you play better! As previously mentioned, I have an article in the next issue of Pickleball Magazine called The Power of Joy. I have done the research. Joy is a much more effective, and scientifically proven, strategy to reach peak performance than frustration is. Just stop for a moment and visualize/feel the difference in the energy. You can sense how frustration brings everything back inside of you and manifests in body tension.
Whereas joy, lets everything go, all the energy is released out into the universe, not held back in aggravation, and feelings of being less than.
In order to help you in this area, I want to introduce you to an amazing man, conductor Benjamin Zander. I don’t care where you are on the miserable scale, take the time to watch this lecture on the “Art of Possibility” and it will enrich your life. Make sure you pay particular attention to “Rule No.6!” Watch it here on YouTube.
FREE BOOK GIVEAWAY(WOOT! WOOT)
I am offering the first 25 people who contact me a free copy of my new book. The only catch is you need to be willing to rate and review the book on Amazon. IF you are absolutely willing to hold up that end of the bargain, please e-mail me your full name and address to info@bitesizepickleball.com. Make sure to put “Book Giveaway” in the subject line.
As we get into the holiday season, please consider shopping my store for your pickleball gifts. There is a ton of fun stuff inside. Keep in mind my distributor doesn’t ship as quickly as Amazon, but they usually do ship within 7-10 days. Use the discount code VIPcustomer10 for 10% off. Click here to surf the store, cowabunga, dude.